


First and Last

by SouthSideStory



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Brief Rey/Original Male Character, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Not A Fix-It, Only for the purpose of making Ben jealous, Sad, Smut, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:42:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22622734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthSideStory/pseuds/SouthSideStory
Summary: Rey only wants to make love to Ben Solo—but he’s gone, and in his absence, she’s weak enough to fall into bed with Kylo Ren.(Set between TLJ and TROS, because they deserve to sleep together at least once.)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 19
Kudos: 180





	First and Last

**Author's Note:**

> As you may have noticed in the tags, this is not a fix it fic. This is my attempt to squeeze smut into the timeline between TLJ and TROS, because I refuse to let Ben Solo die a virgin.
> 
> There’s some Rey/OC at the beginning of this little story, but don’t worry, it’s brief and it’s only there to push Rey and Ben into bed. ;)

.

.

Rey didn't want Derren in her bed, but he was tall and broad shouldered, with lustrous black hair and brown eyes. He didn't look much like Ben in the face—although, to be fair, no one did—but he was as close as she was going to get.

With four shots of whiskey in her belly, she found the courage to take him back to her quarters. Derren didn't bother with sweet words, which she was thankful for. There was only one man she could ever love, and she didn't have the strength to pretend at romance.

Rey let Derren undress her and carry her to bed. In the back of mind, she had a vague memory of Kylo carrying her on Takodana, and if she closed her eyes, she could pretend she was in his arms now.

When Derren pushed her onto her stomach, Rey didn't complain. It was better this way, where she wouldn't have to look at him. Just as she heard the clinking of Derren’s belt as he unbuckled it, the world seemed to narrow and sharpen, a door opening to let Kylo in.

No. Oh gods no, not right now—

She found him standing not three feet away, looking livid. The last time she'd seen him this angry, she'd tried to steal the Skywalker lightsaber from.

"Get rid of him," Kylo hissed. "Now."

Derren stroked his hand down her back, following the ridges of her spine. It didn't feel good. It didn't feel like anything, really, but the possessive, furious heat in Kylo's gaze made her wet. If she didn't tell Derren to leave, would he watch? Would he stand there, and witness her throwing away her virginity on a man she didn't particularly like? Maybe it would hurt him a fraction as much as he'd hurt her that day on the _Supremacy_.

Kylo strode over and wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, a shade too gentle to be a threat.

"Tell him to stop touching you, or I'll hunt him down and kill him in the cruelest way I can devise."

Rey shivered, then said, "Derren, stop."

He patted her ass. "Everything okay?"

She closed her eyes. "No. I don't want to do this. You should leave."

Derren said nothing. Then, "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious. Please go away."

She didn't listen to his griping as he got out of her bed, fixed his clothes, and left.

As soon as he was gone, Kylo flipped her over. His gaze slid along her naked body with such open hunger that she shivered. She shouldn't like this, being ogled by a man who tried to be a monster, but she did.

"Why did you do that?" Kylo asked, his voice choked. "You didn't want him."

Rey squeezed her thighs together, trying to ease the ache there. "No, but I can't have the man I do want. I hoped it might make me feel something, to just… do it."

Kylo climbed into her bed, on top of her. He tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away, and his mouth landed clumsily on her cheek.

"I'm not kissing you," she said.

Kylo grunted, a frustrated sound not unlike the ones he made in battle. "Fine. But if you need fucking, I'm not letting you turn to some knockoff for it."

She could stop him, and they both knew it, but she didn't want to.

“All right.”

Kylo sucked on two fingers, reached down, and slid them between her legs. One moment, she was aching and empty, the next almost uncomfortably full.

"You could have started with one," Rey said. "Your fingers aren't exactly small."

He thrust in and out of her, sending shockwaves of heat over her whole body, and Rey's desire to complain dissipated with the rest of her thoughts.

Kylo huffed, an angry almost laugh. "Please. You were about to let that idiot fuck you dry. This is going to feel far better."

He curled his fingers, and she had to clap a hand over her mouth to smother her shout. It was rough and relentless, everything she'd needed without knowing it.

It would be nothing like this with Ben, she thought, but he was beyond her reach. All she had was Kylo, the shadow of the man she loved, and that would have to do.

He moved down the bed, mouthing wetly at her breasts and stomach as he went, until his nose was buried in the coarse curls on her mound.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice much too high.

When he looked up, his gaze was intent, purposeful. "You didn't say I couldn't kiss you here."

Rey bit her lip, trembling all over. And opened her legs wider.

Beyond that, she was lost. His tongue and lips and fingers unraveled her in no time, working her to a sharp peak—and then another, slower and more voluptuous.

When he sat up, breathing hard, wet from his nose to his chin, Rey lost the last bit of her self control.

"I want the rest," she said. "Now."

Kylo wiped his hand across his mouth, frowning. "I thought you said you couldn't have me."

"I said I couldn't have my first choice. That's not you."

Far from romantic, but Rey knew it wouldn't put Kylo off. If anything, he seemed more passionate when he settled on top of her, pants and shorts around his knees.

As he pushed inside her, he whispered, "You can say my name if you want."

Rey couldn't hold back a sob, borne half from pain of the body, and half from pain of the heart. If he had any idea what that invitation did to her, he wouldn't have said it.

Kylo rocked into her slowly, gasping. The pain faded to an uncomfortable stretch, then an almost pleasant ache. The need to be filled was finally sated, and she was so wet that she accepted him easily. Rey couldn't know how real this was, but it seemed far more so than Derren's touch. It felt as true as her love and greater than the stars, and if she lived to be a thousand, she could never regret it.

Much later, Kylo held her close, lazily kissing her jaw, her cheek, inching slowly toward her mouth.

"Don't," Rey said.

He made a low, irritated noise. "It's a little ridiculous not to kiss after all that."

She brushed her lips across his as she said, "I've given this first to Kylo. I'd like to save that one for Ben."

He bit her lip, then let her go. "I'll have this one from you too, eventually."

Rey ran her fingers down his face, from his temple to his chin. Every inch of him was so beautiful.

"I hope you're right," she whispered. "I really do."

.

.

_Ben_. That was all Rey could think as they kissed. He was finally with her, their fighting days done. It would be nothing but love from here on, no war between them.

_Aren't you glad I saved my first kiss for you?_

The teasing question was on the tip of her tongue, but before she could ask it, his smile was falling, and then _he_ was falling. Rey watched, too stunned to fight it, as he disappeared. Vanished, as if he never was. The only proof she had that Ben Solo had lived and breathed was the shadow of his kiss on her lips.

That, and the little light in her belly.

Rey touched her stomach, eyes closed, and decided that their son's name would carry on Ben's legacy, not hers. _Palpatine_ would die here in this temple, but _Skywalker_ would live on.

.

.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is sad, but I needed to work out my feels about Ben and Rey never having a chance to be together in canon. I’m mostly doing that through fix it fic, but at this moment I wanted to fill in canon in a way that makes me hate it a little bit less. 
> 
> If you want to imagine Ben coming back to life after this, feel free, because it’s what I’ll be doing. *sobs*


End file.
